single again

Single Again…and Broke

A lot of times you hear of people really crashing financially in the fallout of becoming Suddenly Single Again. (I see those raised hands.) The thing that’s really hard to admit is that, as a pre-married man, married man and Suddenly Single Again guy – all three – I managed my money like a buffalo. Whatever impulse hit me, seemed to be ok at the moment.

Ever seen one? A buffalo, I mean – up close? Like blocking the road in front of you close? You aren’t coaxing those big boys and girls out of the way. And while it’s great for photo opps and bragging rights – “Yeah, we were that close to those things!” – when you’re making financial decisions like they would, if they could, it can plunge you into holes that you’ll soon find, seem impossible to dig out from. And it’s not just a bummer. It can lead to that fear that literally clutches your heart. Sleepless nights. Lashing out at friends and your kids. It can even lead to despair.

But there’s a better way.

Quit buffalo-ing. Instead, choose to act like the animal that can bring down a buffalo.

An animal that can do that? Sure. Though pretty scrawny-ish, a wolf can.

Truth is any predator can conquer a big bison, if they calculatingly, painstakingly, take control of the opportunity and then, execute, without hesitation, without holding back, a pre-determined plan of attack.

That’s how they do it.

And that’s how you can get a grip on your finances, too. Try these, for starters:

  1. Assess – you must get a true pic of your condition (shun denial)
  2. Address – determine what do you need to do short-term, to restore sanity
  3. Attack – formulate a plan to tell your money where it goes, without impulsiveness

You need awareness of your situation, conditions, terrain, even where the buffalo might get a tactical advantage, unless it is negated up front. Then, you need to have a plan of attack.

I thought we were talking about being broke?

We are. And the way you and I – the scrawny-ish predators in this metaphor – conquer the buffalo in our life – the fear that grips us as we go to the ATM, the guilt that accompanies another impulse buy – is a plan. A plan to continually assess and address our situation, and a plan of attack. That’s how we do it. That’s how I had to do it and now must continue to do, since the inclination to behave like a buffalo with my money, is still out there.

But remember: you are no less shrewd, no less wise – potentially – than the scrawny-ish predator.

Assess. Address. Attack. You can do this.

Check out daveramsey.com, Tools tab. Then, pick an option. I recommend Getting Started and Budgeting. (Don’t detest this “B” word. Open mind, remember? Well, if I didn’t mention it, it would help at this point.)

These options are helpful for at least beginning to face the first “A” and then consider options for both your Addressing and Attacking.

Quit buffalo-ing. Assume wolfness, now.

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