It’s 11:45pm and my phone is ringing. Normally, I would be asleep but for some reason, tonight I’m having trouble going to sleep. I look to see who is calling so late, and see a picture of my daughter. I think to myself, “this not good.” Sure enough, she is calling because she needs help. Her heart is racing, she is struggling to breathe, and her husband is out of town. She needs me to take her to the ER.
I quickly dress and head out the door. On the way to pick her up, it hits me that due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ll not be allowed to go into the ER with her. I’ll need to drop her off at the door, where a nurse will be waiting. Can you imagine?! Your child cannot breathe and you have to drop her off at the doors of the ER … AND LEAVE?!
Yet this is exactly what I do because I have no choice, no control in this situation. My heart begins to race, and I begin to cry.
I decide to pull into a parking space to take control of my emotions, and in that moment I remember the words of Jesus.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)
I begin to pray, “Lord I understand why I have to leave, but I AM afraid, please calm my racing mind, my troubled heart and my fearful soul! Please, please give me peace!” Thankfully my daughter was able to be treated, and later released from the ER.
However, this was only the beginning of a stormy week for our family, as a few days later we would lose a family member to COVID-19, and another would hang in the balance between life and death. I must be honest, leaving that ER was not easy. Knowing a loved one is ill and not being able to support and comfort them is not easy. Losing a family member and not being able to gather as a family and comfort one another is not easy. It is indeed quite stressful. And it hurts, deeply.
Later, as I reflected on all this, I began to think about story in the Bible when Jesus calms a storm, “And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” (Mark 4:37-39)
I must say, that I’ve felt very much like I have been caught in a powerful storm during this time, and If I let it, the stress and worry can overtake me and maybe even make me think that Jesus doesn’t care about me. But, that’s a lie. He cares very much for me and my life. So, what am to do with these thoughts? I am to take my eyes off the situations, and place them firmly on Jesus, our Lord and savior. I am to seek him in scripture. I am to sit still at his feet in prayer and allow the truth of his Word wash over me and take root deep into my soul.
Jesus came into the world to bring us salvation, and peace in troubled times such as these. John 16:33 says “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (emphasis added) Jesus overcame the world and He is our Peace. He conquered death, our final enemy. That is the power and authority of Jesus.
I may not have a lot of control over current events, but Jesus does. So, I will I will submit my storms, my emotions and my worry to his authority and power and allow him to calm my heart. I am allowing Jesus to be my peace.
How are things with you? Have you been overcome with struggles during this time? When the storms come remember, Jesus is our Peace.